I want this to be over with!

Three more days. Three more days till we say goodbye to our big beautiful home forever. We are 90% packed and now it’s more or less waiting around until the movers come. I can’t seem to get anything done work wise but I guess that’s understandable because my office looks like this

and my studio looks like this

It is almost soul crushing to be in the house this last week with everything packed up for the move. I fluctuate between depression and anxiety about leaving and excitement and optimism about what lies ahead. Today it is cold and rainy and I am feeling somewhat melancholy that our house will soon no longer be ours. 

I honestly didn’t think I would be this emotional, after all it was my idea to downsize. I think it’s not so much about selling the house but the fact that this long chapter of our parenting life is over. Our kids are grown and living on their own and never again will we have the big beautiful family home. I know new and exciting things are ahead but there is still a sadness to moving on and letting go of so many once treasured possessions and memories. I know it’s just “stuff” but it’s the memories behind the stuff that makes it hard to let go. Bottom line, downsizing is emotional and anyone that tells you it’s not, is lying.

Our dining room which had so many happy family dinners is now filled with boxes ready to go. The memories are still there but having to see it all stripped bare is tough.

I will be taking some time off next week from blogging in order to get settled in our new apartment.  I hope to report back that all this stress of downsizing and all the sadness of purging and letting go of so many our possessions was all worth it. I’m looking forward to walking down the street to get a cup of coffee and sitting outside at a local restaurant with a Summer cocktail. I’m looking forward to feeling free and I’m looking forward to living with less but doing more living.

For all of you who have told me you are planning to downsize within the next couple of years, I have one word of advice..Start now! In hind sight we needed six more months…more about that later. In the mean time, I wish all my US friends a great long weekend. I’ll be spending the weekend doing my best to make our new little white box a home. Follow me on IG for photo updates.

32 Responses to I want this to be over with!
  1. Debra Reply

    Totally can relate, Linda! Been there… seeing your packed boxes brings back sweet memories of what once was but is no longer. Happy now for the conveniences afforded by living in the city and having let go of a beautiful past for an even more beautiful future. It takes courage to let go of the past! Congratulations!

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks Debra, I have been so encouraged by everyone’s wonderful comments and support. It has made getting through the whole ordeal somewhat easier.

  2. Darla Powell Reply

    Awww, Linda. I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s breaking my heart. Just know that once you’re in your new space things will be new and bright for you. New and exciting adventures await!

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thank you Darla. These last few days are really hard but once we are out I don’t plan to look back. Great things ahead!

  3. Lori Reply

    Linda I feel for you! This has to be one of the hardest move! I can’t imagine? Thanks for sharing this season of your life with us! But, please share your transition of making the white box your home.

    • Linda Holt Reply

      I absolutely will Lori. That is the part I am looking most forward to!

  4. Linda Pakravan Reply

    Good luck, Linda! Although we haven’t downsized, I know it’s so hard, my SIL did a few years back. It was emotional for everyone BUT she is now in a beautiful apartment with so many conveniences.

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks Linda, I’m sure we will love it too. It’s this in between state that is not fun.

  5. Gilda Reply

    I moved last summer and, although I don’t have kids and there were never many ‘memory moments’, it still felt strangely odd to see the boxes that I packed myself all stacked up there…still not fully unpacked and it’s MAY!!!

    • Linda Holt Reply

      I so agree Gilda, seeing one’s life in boxes is very surreal. I don’t think it will take us long to unpack because our new place is so small and we are not taking too much with us.

  6. Max Reply

    I feel your anxiety Linda. I am going through the same thing, just for a different reason. Just came back from Greece for my 50th BDay and apparently my real surprise is a divorce. Not many can brag about that one, right! Good luck, you can do it!

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Oh Max, I am so sorry and also somewhat shocked. No words but I am here for any needed support.

  7. Keira Reply

    Thank you for sharing the emotional side of it, Linda. I have had that bizarro feeling when moving myself–especially when I moved out of the family home as part of my marriage dissolving–and I think it’s great to be able to start a new chapter. The place I’m in now–second one since leaving the family home–is the most “me” place I’ve ever lived. Love it! So glad I’m here. I think once you are past the bizarro phase, you will really enjoy setting up and experiencing your new place. It’s an adventure. Brava!

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thank you so much for sharing that Keira. I am pretty optimistic that like you, I will love my new smaller home. I’m sure it will be a period of adjustment though.

  8. Dorothy Reply

    It takes wisdom, strength of character, and courage to do what you’re doing Linda. I admire you very much. Your situation reminds me of the Native American philosophy that we do not own the land, but are only stewards of it. Nothing can take away your accomplishments as an artist, entrepreneur, wife, mother, and hostess in the home which you have so lovingly stewarded. Chief Seattle is often quoted as having said, “The end of living is the beginning of survival.” In your case I believe the reverse is more apropos – you are casting off the yoke of servitude in order to live more fully. Congratulations! Being admired and loved by so many people Linda, I am quite sure the abundance of good mojo flowing towards you will bring you much joy as you step into your future. It’s only natural that you should feel emotional, and it would be odd if you didn’t. I’ve always found that acknowledging, accepting, and embracing powerful emotions is the best way to get through them. What a wonderful time to practice being in the moment instead of the past. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you. Bona Fortuna! With love…

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Wow! Dorothy that comment brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful sentiment. I will treasure your heartfelt words of wisdom. Xoxo

  9. Susan Silverman Reply

    I totally understand what you are going through, we downsized 12 years ago and left our big beautiful home of 18 years were we raised our 4 children. I do have to admit though that once I got over the shock of it all, and was settled into our new townhouse, I never looked back. It might take a bit of time, but life will become easier and more enjoyable when you don’t have to worry about a big house anymore. I know mine did!

    • Linda Holt Reply

      That’s exactly what I want to hear Susan. Thanks so much for the words of encouragement.

  10. Sandy Roth Reply

    Best of luck in the final stages of your move, Linda!
    I cannot wait to see how you transform your new apartment into your new home!!

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks so much Sandy!

  11. sherry franklin Reply

    Wherever you go, there you are. On to the next chapter! Feeling emotional is part of the process.. I can’t wait to see what you do with the white box.

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks Sherry!

  12. Lisa Goulet Reply

    Oh boy! I can imagine how bittersweet this is. We are planning to do the same next year and I’ve been getting rid of stuff for the past year but I think I’d better start amping it up. Like you, it makes me happy to think of starting fresh and simplifying but boy oh boy some things will be hard to let go of. Looking forward to any words of wisdom you have for those of us following in your footsteps.

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks so much Lisa.Getting rid of once treasured possessions is really hard for sure and there is no way to make the pain less. Just keep focusing on a freer life style without being the care taker of “stuff”. Also, allow yourself some tears because there are times when it really sucks!

  13. Donna Reply

    As always Linda, your honesty and clarity of thinking is admirable. Thank you for sharing this…it is hard and I’m thinking of you. Looking forward to meeting you at your newly decorated place and walking to lunch!! Everyone I know who has done this has had the same struggles, but have not looked back and are so happy with their decision. Xo

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks Donna, give me a couple weeks and I’ll be more than ready! Looking forward to it!

  14. Deborah Main Reply

    Im right behind you Linda. After having to clear our our entire large room, which is part dining, part family room, to make it into an art gallery for WEST Austin Studio Tour, we realized THIS is our signal to get started with this room already half empty to start the purging we promised to do. Were not moving and I certainly can appreciate all the mixed highs and lows of emotions with that, but we are going to pack up our kids art, nick nacks, donate games, figure out what to do with all our photos and mementos. That part seems so hard and i have to go back to your blogs to see if you gave helpful hints on how to let go of stuff. But im excited to say we have 3 months to do it this summer, cause Davids not teaching. Our goal is to cull it enough of treasured family heirlooms so that we can possibly rent our whole home for a year and travel. With an empty nest, who knows what lies ahead except unknown adventures. It is a HUGE change for you so let yourself grieve. But soon I know you will be very happy with your decision. I so admire your courage for taking the plunge!!! And hopefully I’ll learn from you how best to do it. Clearing out for the WEST tour was just what we needed to get started. I even found a nook for a family loveseat I couldnt part with. Now onto a few changes like updating dining seat covers and of course colorful pilllows to brighten up my brown inside looking home. Thx for the inspiration and wishing you all the best my friend!!! xoxo

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks so very much Deborah. It truly is one of the hardest things I’ve done to date. There is nothing easy at all about giving away or selling treasured things for nothing or pennies on the dollar. I am hoping once we are out of the house the memories will quickly fade and I won’t miss anything at all. Good luck to you and David as you begin the process. Take your time but make a goal to get some much accomplished within a certain time frame. Otherwise, time marches on and it will never get done.

  15. Sheila Zeller Reply

    Hang in there Linda! Thinking of you… and picturing you on your first walk for a morning coffee, your first kickback with a neighbourhood cocktail 🙂

    • Linda Holt Reply

      Thanks so much Sheila, I am holding that thought close as well since right now is the part where I am feeling completely overwhelmed.

  16. Carla Aston Reply

    Good luck! I can’t wait to see what you do with your white box! Hugs!

  17. Veronica D Reply

    Best of luck! And hope the happy feelings are more powerful than the melancholy. I appreciate your honesty in all the process. So much to learn for me.

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